Day 49-50: Isaiah 1-28

We've made it to fifty!  I may eventually catch up to where I'm really supposed to be.  I know I said no playing catch up, but it is not out of necessity, it is just something I may be able to do in the future.  For now it really only seems feasible that I am able to do the required reading for the day.  It's not that I am wasting my time, just using it wisely in all aspects of worshiping God and bringing honor to him.  Sometimes it's about building others up and sometimes it's about receiving that building up.  Ah community!  I would be done reading the Bible if I locked myself up and just read it, but that is not what God has intended for me, for you, for any of us.

Moving forward, Isaiah...  We've met him before back in Kings and Chronicles.  He is Isaiah, son of Amoz, who prophesied during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah of Judah (1:1).  Check back too and you'll see.  So Isaiah is prophesying toward the end of the Northern kingdom as they are overtaken by the Assyrians and also toward the end of the Southern kingdom (Judah).  He doesn't quite see the demise of Judah, he does of Israel (the northern kingdom), but not his own home.  Still his words about that matter are pretty clear: the end is coming for both because of the unfaithfulness of the Israelites.  A worse fate awaits for the nations that will enslave the Israelites, but the nation will be scattered nonetheless, with only a remnant remaining.

There is a lot of hope in Isaiah.  Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of disaster and warning and judgment as well, but there is always hope and it is an eternal hope as well.

Chapter 1 of Isaiah, as I've been saying all along, it does not matter how you worship the LORD or if you prescribe to the letter of worship, unless your heart is in it also.  That is essentially what chapter 1 says and then in chapter 2 we move to the last days and how there is hope for the future, for all nations as all will come to the "mountain of the LORD."  Pretty cool.  God is a God of this earth and loves all peoples.  Surely, he chose the Isrealites for his people, but his desire is that all nations know Him.  I love God!

Isaiah is chalk full of "Messianic passages."  It's true, chapter 7 talks about the virgin birth; chapter 9 carries that famous line, "For unto us a child is born,... And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."  Chapter 11 speaks of the root that will come from Jesse and the Spirit of the LORD will rest upon him.  Things pointing to Christ and yet unbeknownst to Isaiah or the Israelites and something they would never see or experience, but we have the benefit of full knowledge, which makes all the more wonderful.  I imagine that the people in Isaiah's day, the ones who perhaps listened to him, wondered what does this mean?  I imagine there was some immediate fulfillment to these prophecies, but did they have any idea of what the ultimate fulfillment of these prophesies would be?  I feel sorry for them that they missed out.  I am sorry for myself as well, that I take this knowledge for granted.

So throughout Isaiah, we have God being completely just and completely holy.  Isaiah 6, his call to follow the LORD.  Isaiah is found in awe of the holy, holy holy, LORD God and rightly responds that he is unworthy.  God's response is pure grace, he makes Isaiah clean and uses this man for His will.  Isaiah is open and willing.  God that my heart would be as open and willing as his.  "Here am I.  Send me!"

God calls his people and the nations into account.  He calls the Israelites into account, but assures them that he will not completely destroy them.  There will be a remnant.  They will return and truly follow the LORD (Is. 10).  It is through this remnant that all nations will be blessed.  All people will come and call on the LORD because of this (Is. 11, 14, 19, 25).  There will be a lot of grief first though, and people will be called into account, the Israelites as well as the other nations, but God is faithful.  The future he is forecasting is scary and bleak, but ultimately there is rejoicing; there is peace and hope.

Isaiah is beautiful and poetic and there is a lot there, just in the power of God and his broadcasting his plans for his people and the nations.  I encourage you as you read Isaiah to have an open mind and be willing to allow God to speak to you.  At times he is harsh, as he is here in Isaiah, but it is often wrapped in love and in hope, as it is here in Isaiah.  Remain open to him and remember that He does not desire words or meaningless sacrifices.  He desires our hearts, that is our firm and committed devotion to Him.  It is no small thing to ask, but we can be girded up by the faith of those who have gone before us.  The faith of people like Isaiah and the remnant, who faced uncertainty, far greater than our own.  They had but a glimpse of Jesus and we have seen all that he was and has done.  We are far better off, but at times I find that my faith is far less.  O God, help my unbelief!

Day 48: Ecclesiastes and Song of Songs

If your heart is heavy with the things of life.  If you are feeling worn down and sorrowful, Ecclesiastes is a book that you may find appealing.  What is the saying, misery loves company?  Well it's true.  I have often found solace in this book and as bleak as it can be, it has brought much perspective to me over the years.  Don't be angry with the author of Ecclesiastes, whether it's Solomon or someone else.  We have all been or are going to be in this place at some point in our lives, that is we will if we have some modicum of self reflection within us.  And that self reflection; being in that place is okay.  If it weren't, why would it be in the Bible.  Okay, let's just say now, God made a mistake.  This downer of a book was never meant to be a part of His Word.  Don't be silly.  It's here for a reason and its reason is good.

Common themes again persist throughout Ecclesiates, riches are meaningless, toil is meaningless, wisdom is meaningless, all living things reach the same end - death.  It's bleak, I know, but there are glimpses of hope and perspective throughout.  Chapter 3:1-15 has long been a favorite of mine, despite it's overall poetic nature, it again assures us that at whatever point in life we are, it is okay.  It is okay to grieve, it is okay to dance; it is okay to be quiet and it is okay to speak; it is okay to love and it is okay to hate.  There is a time for everything.  God has ordained it, let it be.  Live life for "He has made everything beautiful in its time (11)."  I find comfort in that.

Friendship is important.  That is another key theme in Ecclesiastes, a message of hope amidst despair.  Ecc 4:9-12, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  Friendship is important and, well, it keeps us together.  There are benefits to both parties, and yes the lying down together thing speaks to friendship because think of a time, different than our own, when that wasn't so taboo.  It's something that would be done for survival, lack of space, yadda yadda yadda.  We were not created to be alone, we were made to be in community.

Stand in awe of God (chapter 5).  He is in heaven and we are on earth.  It gives you some perspective.  When you are talking to the Almighty Creator, don't babble on as the pagans do (Jesus' words), let your words be few (Ecc).  God is Creator and we are the unrighteous sinner.  "There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins (Ecc 7:20)."  It gives me perspective.  It reminds me that I do not do as I ought and that I stand before the one and Holy God.  I should be humbled and I should be in awe.  He deserves no less.  We cannot understand God fully, but we can seek to serve him and live our lives as best we can (Ch 11-12).  "Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man..  For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." (12:13-14)

You can be irritated by the author of Ecclesiastes because he seems so stuck on the meaninglessness of things and has no hope for redemption, but remember, we can look back at things with eyes wide open because we have the fullness of revelation and the hope of eternal life through Jesus Christ.  How much more, we should read this book in light of that.  There is hope and just as there is that, all this other stuff is true too.  Let us bring light and hope into the lives of others.  God, let me.

Song of Songs or Song of Solomon
Solomon potentially had a lot of writings here in the Bible.  I don't really have much to say about this book, except that it is an excellent bit of poetry and you can feel the emotions of each of the people within it.  I think what strikes me most about this book is the intimacy of this book and I don't mean sex.  What abounds throughout is how well the lover and the beloved know each other and how they long for each other.  It is a mutual love and a deep love and one that comes from open and ready hearts.  When that doesn't occur, that is the downfall of relationships.  It may only be from one party, but that's all it takes.  I've seen that too often in my life.  "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."  That's important.  Don't chase after something you are not ready for.  If you do, you must be willing to accept it as it is, with all your heart.  God may I truly be open to hear and see and receive you and may I also be willing to be open to give and bleed and let go all of me.

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.  Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.  If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned." Song of Songs 8:6-7

Day 47: The end of Proverbs and a little meaninglessness

My decision for my job came much sooner than I thought it would.  I'm still on the fence about Bible translation, simply because there is so much to do and be here.  I don't think it's wrong to find ministry and be open to the will of God wherever you are.  Here I am LORD!

I will be an investigator of CPS starting pretty soon, within the next month.  It's extremely daunting and scary, but I think it's the right decision and if it's not, God will let me know pretty quick...

Proverbs:
21:2 "All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart."
21:3 "To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice."
Here we are again with matters of the heart and the fact that God continues to look at our inmost being rather than just our outward actions.  He looks at our reasoning, our motives and thoughts.  I pray that mine would be to serve you fully.

Again there are pretty common themes, disciplining your child in a proper weigh, following the advice of your parents will make them proud and honored.  Watch out for the poor and seek to bring them aid.  Be careful what you say and how you say it because it could bring life and joy or death and destruction.

These verses struck me, as they have before, and you too may find them familiar as we are called to do this centuries later through the words of the New Testament.  25:21-22, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you."

Also remember the gift that friends are and that their wisdom can bring much health to your own life.

The three things, even four sayings toward the latter portion of chapter 30 are interesting to read and I encourage you to spend some time with these.  At the least it brings you into God's creation and reminds us how intricate and wonderous this world truly is; this world that God has created for us.

Chapter 31.  It's interesting that this is an acrostic.  I'll just be honest with you, the woman described here is too good.  I cannot comprehend how anyone, male or female, could do and be all the things this woman is, but what this woman reminds me of, is the character of God.  The way that he nurtures and cares for us.  Just giving you something to think about.

Ecclesiastes: It is said that this is written by Solomon and as such it gives me a new perspective on the king I don't like very much.  Ecclesiastes is not a book to read if you want to feel uplifted, but it is still a good book to read and learn from.  All is meaningless and there is nothing new under the sun.  This is the common theme throughout the book and the author tries various means to seek out meaning - through wisdom, through folly, through righteousness, through debauchery and pleasure.  Still we all meet the same fate, death.  This is true and I have been where the author of Ecclesiates has gone.  I have hated life.  I have felt that all was meaningless and "a chasing after the wind."  Still, the author has it right, "without [God] who can eat or find enjoyment?"  He is the author of our life and our reason for existing.  With him there is hope, but we'll get there.  The author has not yet, so tomorrow, more despair moving to hope.  All of it is honesty and life.  Blessings!

Day 45-46: I'm baaaack with the rest of Psalms and Proverbs

So sorry for the very long hiatus.  Things started happening and quite frankly I decided not to stay up too late because I was getting worn down.

Back to Psalms -

136 - fun choral psalm

137 - By the rivers of Babylon... I like this psalm.  It's a psalm of exile and heartbreak.  It's an angry psalm too.  Puts things in perspective and it's okay to feel those things at times.

139 - One of my all time favorites.  In high school and junior high, I would read this A LOT.  It is good to be reminded that God has created and he knows us deeply and intimately and he loves us.  We were created to be with him and he is all around us, never leaving us.  It's comforting and powerful and transforming.  Good for bad self-esteem day.

143 - Hey check it out!  The Holy Spirit is in there!

145 - "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations."  If that's not the kingdom of God, I don't know what is.

150 - A great way to end.  "Let everything that has breath praise the LORD!!!!"

Proverbs
I have to admit, proverbs has never been a favorite book of mine and it kind of irritates me a bit.  I suppose it's important and good.  Short, pithy sayings are always good right?  Well sometimes...  I've looked at Proverbs from many sides and been encouraged to study it on many occasions, but my reaction is generally, what's the use?  I know that's rather pessimistic and perhaps this reasoning is part of the reason I have not been too gung ho about keeping up with the reading lately.  Still I've found some pretty important things in Proverbs that cannot be passed up.  So without any further ado...

1:7 - "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge"  It's basic and has been touted as the foundation of Proverbs.  However, as basic as it may be it is true.  You cannot have a right understanding of God or of faith or of life without first recognizing and standing in awe of the Almighty Creator of the universe.  This is something I am still learning and constantly reminded of.

Another theme of Proverbs then is, if you want wisdom, seek the LORD.  Don't fall prey to the fool or pride or your own knowledge and strength.  Seek the LORD; "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6.

The importance of words.  This too is a theme in Proverbs.  Be careful what you say and how you say it.  You may do more damage than you thought and by your words and tone, you may be able to heal a multitude of hurts.

Proverbs is also filled with simple insights, truths, and reminders that this life we lead is not perfect and comes with its own limitations.  "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." 14:10; "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief." 14:13.  "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." 15:1.  "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred" 15:17.  "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps" 16:9.  A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" 17:17.  For my friend Dani, "Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent - the LORD detests them both" 17:15.  I know Dani would agree with that.

An old song that we still sing sometimes, goes something like this, "The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe" 18:10.  "[T]here is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" 18:24.  That friend I like to think of as Jesus.

I've been struggling recently with plans.  I'm contemplating taking on a different job within my current organization, CPS.  It is a difficult decision and one that I am not taking lightly because people's lives are involved, but it could be a potentially very advantageous career move for me.  Secondly, I'm still trying to discern what, if any role God would have me play in Bible translation.  There are a lot of things that I would like to do with my life, but is it really what God wants.  "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails" 19:21.  God, I pray that would be so.  May I not be caught up in pride or my own desires that I lose sight of you and your will for this life.

Tomorrow (hopefully) the rest of Proverbs.

Day 43-44: Psalm 90-135

So as you read the psalms in a grouping like this, you really notice their similarities and common themes.  That is probably why many of them are grouped the way they are.  It's not a profound statement, but something that I've noticed.  God is our refuge and strength.  He is our shield and shelter.  I will follow the LORD with all my heart, for the LORD is good and his love endures forever.  God is righteous and will judge all peoples.  Sing to the LORD!  Praise Him!  Do not be far from me, O God.  God listens to the cries of his people.  You delight in those that follow your law with their whole heart.  You delight in the faithful.  You show great mercy to those who seek you.  Interestingly enough, these themes are present throughout the rest of Scripture and the Scriptures that we've been reading.  It's not surprising to find them here, they are just more poetic.  :)

Some of my favs:
Psalm 91 - I love the imagery in this psalm and it is my comfort psalm.  When I need to know that God is with me, even when I can't feel him, I read this psalm.

Psalm 100 - Short, sweet and to the point.  "For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Psalm 102 - I can understand the sentiments of the "afflicted man" perhaps too well.  "For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers.  My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food... For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears"  I've had many days of suffering, both physical and emotional.  There are still days when I struggle, but I am not in a time of mourning now.  Still I can understand those times and hopefully that gives me some perspective.

Psalm 103-4 - "Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name."

Psalm 108 - "My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.  Awake, harp and lyre!  I will awaken the dawn.  I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.  For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."

Psalm 110 - a Messianic psalm.

Psalm 115:1 - "Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness."  This was a verse that was used during my college years and it still strikes a chord with me today.

Psalm 116 - Again, I understand what it means when it says, "The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.  Then I called on the name of the LORD: 'O LORD, save me!'"

Psalm 118 - The LORD is with me.  I will not fear.  Another messianic nod - the stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.

Psalm 119 - The alphabet in Hebrew and how wonderful God's laws are that I meditate on them day and night.

Psalm 121 - My help comes from the LORD...

Psalm 130 - It's short and self explanatory.  It speaks to the cry of my heart.

Psalm 133 - I sang the first verse in Kid's praise 7 with Dani, but I also heard this psalm read in a round, yes, like singing, but speaking.  It was beautiful and powerful and I love the imagery of this simple psalm.

Day 41-42: Psalm 46-89

I don't have another big rant to give to you, but I'll just share some of my favs from this selection.

Psalm 46 - I know it's kind of a staple, but "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."  God being our refuge and strength is a recurring theme in the psalms and just a good reminder.  "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  Amen.

Ps 49 - If you want to know what a life is worth, I found this interesting and for me, I can't help it.  It points to Christ's death and resurrection.  "No man can redeem the life of another or give to God a ransom for him - the ransom for a life is costly, no payment is ever enough - that he should live on forever and not see decay."

Ps 51 - The whole thing is great and is a good penance psalm for me.  This has oft been the cry of my heart, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  Remember matters of the heart?  "You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

Ps 63 - Pure longing for God.  I do not always feel that way and sometimes it is difficult for me to remember the days that I have felt this way, but reading this psalm reminds me and puts it into perspective.  "On my bed I remember you, I think of you through the watches of the night.  Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  My soul clings to you, your right hand upholds me."

Ps 67 - Much like the oft quoted blessing, "May God be gracious to us and Bless us and make his face shine upon us, that your ways may be known on earth, our salvation among all nations."  For our God is a God who desires for all people to know him.  It reminds me that I am to share his Good News with everyone.

PS 69 - Vivid imagery of suffering and clinging to God.  My hope is in You, LORD.

Ps 71 - God has been with me from my youth, from my birth.  "Do not cast me away when I am old..."

Ps 73 (and the psalms of Asaph - love them.  They seem to be a bit more communal in nature and seem to be more for the assembly gathered for worship, whereas David's psalms seem much more personal.) - God desires faithfulness of heart.

Ps 78 - Remembering God's works for his people Israel.  This is a retelling of Israel's people in poetic form.  I think that's a good way to do it.

Ps 80 - I love the refrain "Restore us, O God; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved."

Ps 84 - Much like the song, Better is One Day, here is where it comes from.  I think the actual psalm is even more beautiful though.  :)

Ps 88 - This is a true lament.  It has no neat ending that claims that God has rescued me.  It leaves you hanging and that's how we feel sometime.  If that's the place where you are, which is okay, this psalm is for you.  It's good to know we're not alone.

Ps 89- "I will sing of the LORD's great love forever;" sound like another familiar song to anyone else?  Again, there is much greater depth in the psalm itself.  "Praise be to the LORD forever! Amen and Amen."

Day 39-40: Psalm 1-45

So perhaps I was a little hasty when I said that I hate poetry.  I think, deep down, I really do like and enjoy it.  I really love the psalms.  I took a class in college about the psalms and learned all about the different kind of psalms and parallelism.  So parallelism was the literary device that the Hebrews, and other ancient cultures, used in their poetry, like we use rhyming or free form today.  As a youngun, I was often frustrated by the repetition of the Bible, I mean, not only the psalms use this literary device.  Now that I am aware of it, let's just say I have a new perspective.  I love parallelism, because you have to be a little clever to say almost the same thing again and yet still be different.  There are different kinds of parallelism, you know the whole comparison thing: the wicked man... but the righteous man... that's parallelism.  A new perspective, for me.


Secondly, I really love the psalms because when I couldn't read the Bible, when I was so dead inside and angry at God, the only thing that could get me to crack open the Bible, was the psalms.  I found myself in them and that is the beauty of poetry; that is the beauty of symbolism and metaphor and just plain truth.  "Be merciful to me, LORD for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.  My soul is in anguish.  How long, O LORD, how long?" Ps 6:2-3.  It was words like this that spoke to my grieving and broken soul.  "How long, O LORD?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" Ps 13:1-2.  The psalms of lament were a balm for my pain because it made me feel a little better knowing I wasn't the first or the only one to feel these things.

Then slowly and slowly I could rejoice.  "Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" Ps 42 and 43.  "Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.  Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness" Ps 29:1-2.  The healing was a long process, but the LORD's psalms helped to get me there.  So here is some small advice: if you are angry, read the psalms.  If you are sad, read the psalms.  If you are lost and questioning God, your faith, and everything you know, read the psalms.  If you are joyful and want to give God the glory due his name, you guessed it - READ THE PSALMS!!!!  It is good medicine and better than a spoonful of sugar.

Since there are 45 psalms that I read through I'd like to leave you with some thoughts on some of my favorites:

Ps 1 and 2 are considered Messianic psalms.  They are oft quoted and pretty good ones to lift you up.  They also give you a good hint at growing in the LORD.

Psalm 8 - I love that despite us being so low and lowly, God still cares for us and has really given us a great gift in this life.  "O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"

Ps 18 - I love the descriptions of God.  They are so vivid.

Ps 19 - more awesome descriptions of God and his creation.

Ps 22 - This Jesus calls to mind on the cross.  I heard in a Good Friday sermon once that as Jesus was dying it was the afternoon hour of prayer for the Jews and according to custom, he called to mind a psalm and it was this psalm.  Whether that is 100% true or not, this psalm become so amazingly powerful when you look at it through the lens of Jesus being crucified and in the end resurrected.  "All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the LORD and he rules over the nations... all who go down to the dust will kneel before him...They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn for he has done it."

Ps 23 - so many contrasting images: still waters, valley of the shadow of death, eating a table with one's enemies... it's comforting to know that amidst trials, God is ever present and holding us fast.

Ps 29 - One of my absolute favorites because some time in high school I convinced myself that I should memorize a not-so-well-known psalm.  I chose this one.  I can't really recite it to you, but I love the parallelism in it.  It's AWESOME!!!  At the time I tried to memorize it, I just thought it was repetitive.  I still love this psalm and it reminds me how awesome God is.

Ps 34 - Taste and see that the LORD is good!  Even in trial, God is good.  God is so good, try him and see.

Ps 42-43 - They should really be one psalm (remember chapters, verses, and even in this case the titles for the psalms were added later).  These helped me through some really dark days and reminded me that the love of my life is God and all his greatness.  My Savior and my God!

Day 37-38: Job

So begins the poetry section of the Bible and I'm not a real big fan of poetry.  Although, I think I appreciate the parallelism of the Bible to the iambic pentameter.

I will try to be precise, but the problem is simply: I understand Job and I do not understand Job.  I understand Job's feeling, of cursing the day you were born and waiting, begging to die.  I know those feelings; I know them well.  However, I cannot say that I can call myself upright like Job.  I know I've faltered and sinned and blackened this beautiful creation that God has made time and time again.  I have been humbled beyond measure.  No, I cannot call myself righteous.

I despise Job's friends, for they really are no friends at all.  I hope and pray that I will never heap sorrow upon sorrow as they do for Job.  Job is suffering, his family gone, his flesh is being eaten away and his friends simply say to him again and again, "You must have sinned!  God punishes the wicked.  You must repent for your sin and God will bless you again."  My response would be, "Thanks guys.  Can you go now because you're not helping me."  It would have been better for these "do-gooders" to sit in silence with Job and simply grieve with him.

There is is one friend, Elihu, with him I also identify.  He is tactful in his rebuke, nonetheless it is a rebuke.  It is also born out of truth and that truth which the Spirit compels us to speak.  I understand Elihu, for I have stood in his place; not often, but I have been there.

Then comes the word of God and these are powerful, sarcastic, awesome words.  And I mean awesome in its truest sense.  There is something that strikes a little fear into you here.  If anyone tells you that sarcasm is not Christian, tell them to read Job, particularly Job 38:19-21:

¹⁹ "What is the way to the abode of light?
       And where does darkness reside?

 ²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
       Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

 ²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
       You have lived so many years!

Ah, I love vindication.  I love these last few chapters of Job and if ever I need humbling, which I often do, or if I need to remember who God is, I come here.  Job's response is appropriate and filled with humility, ⁴ "I am unworthy—how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. ⁵ I spoke once, but I have no answer— twice, but I will say no more."  God gives him a little more and then Job responds again, ¹ Then Job replied to the LORD :

 ² "I know that you can do all things;
       no plan of yours can be thwarted.

 ³ You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
       Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
       things too wonderful for me to know.

 ⁴ "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
       I will question you,
       and you shall answer me.'

 ⁵ My ears had heard of you
       but now my eyes have seen you.

 ⁶ Therefore I despise myself
       and repent in dust and ashes."

It's hard to measure my measly complaints against such an Almighty God.  The thing is though, he does see and hear me.  He is not always harsh in his reply, sometimes it is as gentle as a guiding wind, or a warm touch from a friend.  Job needed a good shaking up.  We might wonder at God since he so haphazardly allowed Satan to inflict him.  God did allow Satan, but maybe it was like the plagues in Egypt, so he could show how great he truly is.  I know that sounds conceited, but it's God, the creator of the universe; he deserves some props.

God, I see and hear you and I know that you see and hear me, in my brightest and darkest times.  Forgive me for my lack of faith.  I repent in dust and ashes and pray that I may hold fast evermore to you.

Day 36: Esther

Not to be confused with the Sara Groves song, that's about a different Esther... still a good song though.

Reading Esther is like visiting an old friend.  I've read her book so many times that as I read I find myself in anticipation of what is coming next.  It's fun and I like Esther, a lot.

Things I didn't notice before, or didn't really figure out (what can I say, I'm slow), I didn't understand the whole different names for the eunuchs.  It turns out that there were different eunuchs assigned to the harem and to the king's concubines.  So here's the deal if you become a concubine, you are no longer in the harem.  I'll let you all figure out the subtleties there.  Hence, the different eunuch.  That was really a minor point, but I had a little "aha" moment with that.

So King Xerxes is kind of a hot head, that was not something new, but definitely wanted to comment on it.  I mean he's "burning with anger" on several occasions.  He regrets what he does to Vashti, but doesn't undo it because he's the king (I think it was a pride thing).  At least with Esther and Haman, well at first, he goes off to the garden to cool down a bit, but then he comes back all in a rage because it looks like Haman is trying to take advantage of Esther.  Oopsy for Haman.

On to serious matters, what I really love about Esther, well is her courage and her humility.  Esther is a rule follower and as much as I dislike rules, I am a rule follower, a do-gooder.  Alas, it is true.  I always want to please, whether it's my parents, my boss, friends...  Esther was too.  She wanted to please Mordecai, then the kings court (eunuchs), the king and in the end God and her people.  Of course it's the latter part that becomes the most important.

Now I know that God is actually never mentioned in the book of Esther, but I really do feel his presence, I mean Esther does fast and asks her fellow Jews to fast with her.  Could it be to fast because she is seeking the will of God?  I like to think so.  Would she fast to clear her head?  No.  I'm pretty sure she was seeking the guidance of some deity as that is the purpose of fasting and since she was a Jew, I think it's safe to assume that deity was the LORD God.

Back to being a rule follower, Esther just doesn't resign herself to fasting and seeking guidance from God immediately, she has to be prompted to that point.  She has to be reminded that she suffers along with her people, despite her position of power.  She's afraid to speak on behalf of her people because she's afraid to break the rules.  She's afraid that she'll jeopardize her relationship with the king and she's afraid she'll be put to death.  Those are strong motivators.  Her cousin, Mordecai's advice is still stronger, (Esther 4:13-14) "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. ¹⁴ For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

That's pretty powerful stuff.  Mordecai reminds her that essentially, God can raise someone else up to help the Jews, but what if, what if all of this happened to Esther just so she could help her people.  It makes sense.  It made sense to Esther.  I think those words are good for us all to remember, especially when we're asking the question, why am I here?  I've asked that question and as I shared at Crash, this verse was my answer, "Maybe for such a time as this."

I think the point of that is simply, if we spend so much time looking around for other things we could be doing to make a difference, or if we're stuck in a moment, as U2 says, or in discontentment, we need to consider the present.  We need to consider that this time and place may be just where God wants us and needs us.  Let us be present and aware, lest we miss out on the opportunities that God has for us to be blessed and be a blessing.  Then maybe our dark spot can become a bright spot. ;)